I sit here comfy on my sectional, typing away as my baby girl naps peacefully in her rock n’ play sleeper next to me and it baffles me that a little over a month ago, I sat in this exact same spot but it a completely different situation. If you followed along previous to my blog hiatus (or even from last weeks post), you’d know that little miss wasn’t actually supposed to come when she did.
Luckily for me, the week prior to Amaya’s arrival, I had vacation from work for the Christmas and the holidays. It was a 2 week vacation, so I had grand plans during that time off to get all things prepared for baby. I would finally get a chance to ‘nest’ and get everything in order before the babes arrival. I would take down our Christmas decorations, deep clean our house, decorate the nursery, wash all the gender neutral clothes, pack my hospital bag, preregister….you know, all the things I could since I would still have two more weeks after vacation to prepare.
But all those plans changed on December 30th, when a simple nap turned into the beginning of our new life.
Throughout my pregnancy I spent alot of time hanging out with my sister when Bryan would have boys nights out and that weekend I spent the weekend with my sister to have a slumber party with her, my mom and my nephews. Everything was going good and like throughout my pregnancy, I was feeling pretty awesome besides pooping multiple times a day. I’m keeping it real here folks and if you can’t handle that talk then you should just turn back now. I digress….yes….I was a pooping machine that weekend. I didn’t think much of it since I always had a pretty regular system but I remember reading that when you started to have diarrhea and more bowel movements, that that was your body preparing itself and eliminating the waste before labor.
I read a couple chapters from my What To Expect When You’re Expecting book but I will preface the rest of this story with….I was completely unprepared for everything that followed. I knock on wood but I had a pretty great pregnancy with no morning sickness and besides the normal aches and pains, I really didn’t have much to complain or care about.
So moving along…that Monday when I came home from my sisters, I told Bryan that I was going to go upstairs and take a nap because I was exhausted. For those two weeks prior, no matter if I was working or just vegging out on the couch, I was always super tired. I couldn’t get enough sleep so that two hour nap was just what I needed. I woke up feeling re-energized and as I walked down the last few stairs from the second floor, I felt a sudden gush. Not a big movie type of gush where I stood in a puddle of my own vagina juice but more like a ‘Oh shit, I think I just peed myself…‘. I had been wearing a pad since I was having a little more discharge then normal so I wasn’t able to tell how much I did ‘wet’ myself. I wasn’t really concerned but I headed to my neighbors house to see what she thought since she was a nurse. Again, since I wasn’t due for another month almost, we thought it was just my big ol’ pregnant self losing control of my bladder. Until….it happened again while I sat there and talked to her and then again after I had used the restroom and was walking back into her living room. She advised that I should go home, take a shower, and relax just in case it was the real thing and I did just that.
I didn’t want to psyche myself up but I wasn’t going to be caught with a forest south of the border if you know what I mean, so I hopped in the shower, freshened up and tried to settle in for the night and relax. I sat with Bryan enjoying some television to try to keep my mind busy but I just felt off. I can’t really explain the feeling but something about my body just felt different. I talked to my mom and sister on the phone a couple times and tried to downplay the situation but I finally admitted to my sister that whether it be that night or a week from then, I didn’t think I was going to make it to my due date.
My body took that sentiment to heart and quickly transitioned into labor mode, to my obvious surprise and hesitance. It was around 8 p.m. when I ate my last bowl of cereal and thank goodness it was something light because almost immediately after I started feeling my first signs of contractions. To be honest, I really didn’t know they were real contractions at first. I didn’t recognize when I was having Braxton Hicks contractions throughout my pregnancy so when the real ones started I didn’t know if it was them or the real deal. Well let me tell you, you’ll quickly be able to distinguish the two when your contractions start radiating through your back. When they first started they were spaced out for about 10-15 minutes. I was sitting on the couch watching television when a contraction would hit and render me useless. I curled up in the corner of the couch as spasms tightened my stomach and shot through my back. They progressively got worse and for the next hour and a half between contractions B and I talked about what we would do if this was the real thing. We both didn’t believe that it was real but in a worried state decided it was in our best interest to have some clean clothes for our future child. Bryan also decided to pack my hospital bag since I was concerned that I didn’t have any of the must haves that other more prepared pregnant women have. Thrown in were my big granny undies, pajamas, and a few toiletries that would keep me fresh if they admitted me. I threw in my DSLR at that last minute and thank goodness I did since it ended up being the real deal.
My contractions continued and as they got worse, I got concerned about how quickly everything was happening. God bless Bryan’s heart. As I laid moaning and breathing through the pain, he sat next to me and shuffled through the pages of my What To Expect When Your Expecting to figure out what signs I was having of labor and if it was go time. It went through the checklist and like clock work I was experiencing every symptom of early labor. I went to go use the bathroom and as he carried the book around double and triple checking the list, I yelled for him that I thought I just had my bloody show. I freaked out a little bit on the inside but from the few forums I read this didn’t always mean immediate labor and delivery. So with pressure in my pelvis and shooting pains in my back, I sent Bryan up to bed since he had to go to work in the morning. I thought laying on the couch would be a better option and as Bry slept peacefully upstairs I stayed downstairs doubled over in pain as my contractions got closer and closer together. I really thought I’d be able to work through the pain and that it would go away eventually. This had to be false labor I thought. I wasn’t prepared yet. We didn’t even put our carseat in. I wasn’t ready dammit. My moans and groans from the pain must have also gotten louder because around 1a.m., in the early hours of Decemeber 31st, Bryan woke up and came down to check on me. He asked me if I was okay and through tears I told him that I wasn’t and that the pain was getting worse. After a little convincing, he finally got me to call my doctor and after some phone tag, my doctor decided that I should come in to be seen. Bryan rushed around the house, grabbing our carseat that was still in the box and the baby clothes that were still in the dryer. I know it’s stupid but even through all of that and on the most uncomfortable ride to the hospital (seriously…a bumpy ride in a jeep while having contractions made me want to fucking stab someone) I wouldn’t let B call off work because I didn’t think we would get admitted. I thought this was false labor (stupid in hindsight) and I really thought I was just over reacting to the whole thing.
Oh silly Ivy.
This was only the beginning.
We finally arrived at the hospital around 2:00 a.m. and since it was ‘after hours’ we entered through the emergency room, where I was greeted by a wheelchair and a orderly to wheel me up to labor and delivery. To tell you a little something, I was kinda excited to be wheeled up. It started feeling all movie-esque during that part but quickly snapped me back to reality when another contraction came along.
They got me settled in a room and started a slew of tests to see if my water did indeed break and to see how far along I was. Since I just had a OB appointment a couple days prior and knew I wasn’t dilated and that I was closed pretty tight up there, I wasn’t expecting much. To my surprise though, yes….my water really did break and at that point in the game I was 3-4 centimeters. WTF?!? I was getting admitted and there was no denying now that this baby was coming. I finally let Bryan call off of work and he in turn started calling my sisters and mom letting them know it was go time! I sent out a tweet or two but starting to feel the contractions more and more that ended pretty quickly. My mom finally made it to the hospital and sat back in the room with Bry and I. Bry sat on my right side and smiled and held my hand as we looked at each other knowing that this was it and that our baby was for sure coming today.
I learned one thing about myself during my labor…
I do not want to be touched or coddled when I’m in immense pain.
God bless my moms heart. She so badly wanted to comfort her little girl while she was in labor but as I buckled down and grabbed the bed rails and breathed through my contractions, I snipped at her that I didn’t want to be petted like a dog. She took it in stride and still stayed by my side but everyone took note not to get too touchy feely. ; )
As my contractions got worse and I started to dilate more, my nurse began asking if I wanted any pain medicine to take off the edge. I knew before hand that I wanted to go into labor with an open mind and knew that I would take meds if I found it necessary. Knowing that it would get worse from there, I decided to take the IV pain meds to take the initial edge off and wowsers, that stuff worked miracles. Almost immediately I felt relief and was in a groggy, sleepy state. It allowed me to sleep for a little bit but after awhile it started to wear off and I started to feel my contractions growing again. I felt like I could still work through them but my nurse asked about an epidural again and said that since I was progressing quickly, that I should get one soon if I decided I wanted one. At 7 centimeters and after some thought, I decided that I wanted one. I could have toughed it out but in that moment I decided that an epidural was best for me and how I saw my labor going. I was terrified at first because of the horror stories you hear but my epidural was fucking awesome. Maybe it was because I still had a little pain meds in me from before but I was cool, calm and collected through out the whole procedure. The nurse, anesthesiologists, and I bullshitted throughout the whole thing and it was completely different than I imagined it. They let Bryan and my mom back in and since I was feeling a little bettter, I let more visitors back to see me. We talked, I relaxed, everything seemed to be going easy peasy. The nurse shuffled in and out, checking me here and there, and after awhile saw that my contractions were starting to slow down. At that point they started me on pitocin to try to bring them back up and to continue my laboring. Everything seemed okay for awhile and I did start to feel my contractions more but around 9 a.m. the nurses checks started to contradict the doctors checks. She came in to check me and according to her I was almost 10 centimeters dilated and she began turning on the lights and heating the warming bed for the baby.
This was it, I thought. Excitement rushed over me and Bry as we thought that this was the time and that I would be pushing our beautiful baby out within the hour. Until…..my doctor came in. He checked me and much to our dismay, said that I was still sitting at 7 and that they were starting to become concerned about the baby. Apparently, every time time I was having a contraction the babies heart rate was dropping and they were getting concerned for her well being if my contractions became more intense. He talked to us for a couple minutes about our options and then the dreaded words came out of his mouth….he strongly recommended that I go in for a c-section. He said I could try to labor for the next three hours and continue to put stress on the baby as she was continuing to ‘mold’ (head down, conehead, stuck in my pelvic bones) or we could scrub up, operate, and get our hopefully healthy baby out within a half hour.
We decided to go with the c-section.
I cried to Bryan, since this was not how I envisioned my labor going but he reassured me that we wanted what was best for the baby and at this point it was better for her to get out sooner rather than later. I sent him out to tell my family as they prepped me and he had to rush back to scrub up himself. I was a nervous wreck on the inside since I didn’t know what to expect but I remained calm as they wheeled me into the operating room. A couple minutes later, after they got me situated they let Bry back in. As I laid strapped down to the bed, Bryan held and caressed my hand and talked to me through out the surgery. It was a weird feeling having them pull and tug at my organs but not really feeling any significant pain. The nurses shuffled around preparing and the doctor cut and pulled whatever he was supposed to on the other side of the sheet. I laid there and really couldn’t believe it was all happening. I couldn’t stop looking at Bry, he was such a support system for me in there. He talked me through it and told me how excited he was for our new family and for how our lives were going to change. And they did, because within a couple minutes of that conversation, the doctor said he was pulling the baby out and within a couple seconds, I heard the most wonderful sound in the whole wide world…..the first gasps of air and cries from my dear baby. Tears flooded my face as the doctor asked B if he wanted to peek over and tell me what the sex was.
He stood up, looked at our beautiful baby for the first time, looked back at me and exclaimed that…”Babe, It’s a girl!!!”
Our beautiful girl entered the world on December 31st, 2013 at 10:18 a.m. weighing 6 lbs. 14.5 oz., 19.5 inches and with a full head of coal black hair.
`My heart swelled because even though I would have been happy with either sex, I was excited about all the mommy/daughter dates and events we would get to experience together.
And Bryan….Oh, he absolutely adores his daughter and she is most definitely Daddy’s Little Girl.
There she is….our New Year’s Eve surprise, our girl, our love, our everything.